There are so many things that have to be learned from just going through it. I think the Army tries to prepare people for their deployment with SRP but still things are missed. Too much is happening to think of all the little things. Like who is going to do the yardwork, fix the car, fix the house, spray for bugs, you name it. Some of it might be set up but if you deploy right after PCS it's probably not.
And it really doesn't seem like much of an issue. But it is. For us anyway. For us I had to suddenly find all of the above mentioned people. The problem comes in when I made the decision who to hire. I searched the internet yellow pages, read the reviews and referrals and chose.
When I chose I didn't think it was a problem. Something came up. I took care of it. But each time it made my husband angry. I had left him out of the decision process. I think he is being unfair and irrational. He thinks I am being insensitive. I think I am helping. He thinks I am hurting. We have gone back and forth with different things. It comes down to two things for him. #1. My safety. #2. Him not being in control of his home.
There needs to be a ceremony where the spouse relinquishes control of the home to the one left behind then get it back when they return.
I have always managed our home. Made sure the bills are paid, food is bought, you name it. I'm the one in charge of the house. So I guess this problem is even more confusing as to WHY he suddenly feels that I am leaving him out of the decisions. This is also one of the times that I really feel it's a blessing not to have children to make decisions for.
It's nothing we won't get through. We always work things out and this is after all our biggest issue. I just wonder if anyone else has the same problem.
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