Deployment makes you lose a year of life. You go on existing, but things are lost. There is no way to regain the time or events that are in the past. Sometimes the events are big.
People all around you are celebrating with their family. Army spouses with children, even though they might be going through deployment are still celebrating the special days with their children. Yes, they still lose something, but they don't lose the entire day or season.
This year we have missed our birthdays, our anniversary, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter and every little holiday in between.
My husband sent me an email and asked me what I wanted for my birthday, really wanted. That we should really do something to celebrate. Well, I really don't care that I'm going to be 43! But I love birthday's all the same. To me it is a day of family and good food. So I spent some time thinking about what we could do to celebrate. Of course he will not be home when the day comes so it still won't be the same. My birthday will come and go with me alone. Perhaps I will make some cupcakes and stick a candle in one. I don't mind.
For now anyway.
After some thought I responded to his email with the obvious. I just want him home for my birthday. Who wouldn't. Of course that wish is unrealistic so I continued with my thoughts on having a 'special day' that is OUR day. That we can celebrate everything we missed. We would set a budget and each go shopping for the other and buy gifts for everything we missed. We don't know yet if we will do a weekend getaway or maybe just a romantic dinner at home which to us is just as enjoyable if not more so. He has afterall been gone from our home for a year.
He responded back with, 'So you want to have a Birthannimus Day?' And our day was born. I have no idea if anyone else celebrates Birthannimus Day. And if they do, each one will be uniquely different to the next. It is a day that is not rushed by holiday shoppers or commercialization. It can be anything we want it to be. And it will always be ours. Of course with each deployment the actual day will change. But that is the great part about Birthannimus. It can be whenever it works best.
So for us there will be no more stressing about missed events. Because we will know when he is home that we have our special day to look forward to.
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