Helping others

I really believe in the old adage that it is better to give than to receive. I give because I selfishly love the feeling I get from doing something for someone. Even when they don't know it was me. In fact I prefer to remain anonymous whenever possible. Sometimes I can't. It is easier to drop off meals without giving a name than inviting 'strangers' into your home and still remain nameless.

We do this often too. Invite people in. Not just for a meal but to give them a place to stay instead of a motel in between PCSing or whatever reason they got stuck in one. Sometimes it works out very well. Sometimes the people pitch in and help. We don't charge them rent. We simply ask for help with buying groceries and that they do their share of housework. (Which by the way, NEVER involves the kitchen...that's my baby.)

Sometimes the people go above and beyond. I never expect that. But what I hate is that time after time of helping people we get the raw end of the deal. They offer no help for food or around the house. They expect me to be their maid as if they were still paying the $900-1200 a month they were staying in some roach infested motel. I don't get it. I am becoming bitter. I am getting to a point where I no longer want to help people. I don't want to be that person.

I also don't feel that we are extending such a kindness that we are not asking too much from someone. How hard is it to pick up after yourself or grab a dust rag or take out the trash when it's full?

I want to scream 'either you help or go back to paying what you were at the motel.' Don't tell me you're broke on payday when you have NO bills. We are the ones paying for the house, the utilities AND the food. Oh wait, let's throw in chauffeur services too.

Do I need to have something written up to hand people that we are trying to give a hand up to? Should it be outlined? Isn't it common sense that if someone is letting you stay with them for free that you should help in some way so as not to make it hardship on them?

Sigh....

I wish everyone could be like the last family we helped. And they are the reason that I'm sure I will continue to help military families when they need a place to stay.

It makes me wonder if age has anything to do with it. They were older, like us. Seems all the younger ones we've helped have taken advantage of us and wore out their welcome very quickly. Surely that can't be it.

I should add it's not just people we let stay with us. People ask 'little' favors of us. We always help when we can. The last time we helped with a little favor it is costing us over $500 in damage to the house. It might be more, I'm still working on figuring it out.

With the holidays here I don't want to be bitter. I still want to be a giving, helping person. I just don't know how much more is in me.