How strange are yours?

There are tons of pages for what to send in a care package. I have learned over the past few years that those pages don't help me out very much.

Here is a list of some of the things I send to give a little taste of home:
Shelf stable milk- BIG HIT. I buy Borden. It's found next to evaporated milk in the stores.
Jell-O Instant cheesecake mix and shaker container
Mini graham cracker pie crusts (for cheesecake)
Fruit topping
Home canned:

• Jams
• Beef stew
• Spaghetti
• Chili
• Black eyed peas
• Collards
• Peaches
• Salsa
• Roast beef and veggies

Homemade beef jerky
YooHoo in boxes
Assorted pastas (and microwave pasta cooker)
Rice
Crackers
Jell-O
Pudding
Shelf stable margarine (like Country Crock)
Peppridge Farms Sandwich flats-sealed with food saver.
COOKIES-any and all kinds!!! And never ever enough of them.
From the store canned foods when I need a break:

• peas-the LeSueur kind, not the cheap big ones
• tuna
• Tuna helper
• Ravioli
• corned beef
• Carnation Instant Breakfast
• whatever else I see that he might like

Twin size sheets with at least 300 thread count. (They need soft things too!)

There is of course the assorted regular stuff like magazines, books, etc. Obviously this list is not for every soldier over there. Care packages should be personal and based on what each soldier's tastes and desires are.


The next big problem with my list is packaging. I cannot can homemade food in plastic containers! Therefore everything I send that is home canned is GLASS. Yep, see the problem here? I put each glass container inside of a zipper bag, then wrap it in bubble wrap. I put a trash bag in the large flat rate box and then place 6-9 jars in the box. There are gaps now that get filled with YooHoos, M&M's, rice, pasta, and whatever else will fit in the gaps. I have not kept count of the number of glass containers I have sent, it is high though and so far only one thing has got cracked and spoiled.

I use a Food Saver for everything else. For the homemade beef jerky and cookies I freeze them as soon as they cool. Then as quick as they are froze I seal them with the Food Saver. This prevents them from clumping up into a big ball and keeps them fresh for the shipping time.

Obviously this list requires that they have a microwave and refrigerator but if your soldier is lucky enough to have them some of these things can make their life taste a little better.

I am always looking for other things I can make and send to him. Packaging makes it difficult but it is fun trying to figure it all out.

How strange are your packages?

$10 for leaving a comment?!

This is going to be simple. (Your chances are also very good since there are so few of us!)

1. Who is eligible? Fans of Going It Alone~Military Spouses on Facebook that are a military spouse with no children at home. (This means your children are grown, you have no children or you only have children part time. In other words if you spend the majority of your spouses deployment by yourself you're eligible.)

2. How do you enter?

A. Leave a comment without breaking OPSEC/PERSEC with your FIRST name and where you are stationed.(Don't say anything identifying, your email will be hidden and I will be able to tell who commented.) (1 entry)
B. Refer a military spouse with no children at home. When they join have them comment you sent them. (1 entry)
C. Follow the blog and comment that you are following. (1 entry)
D. Tweet to say hi and use hashtag #goingitalonemilitaryspouse and comment here that you did. (1entry)

 The prize? $10 to your paypal account or as an Amazon.com e-gift card. (And you never know, more prizes might be added during the next month but they will be surprises.)

When? You have until August 1st to get all your entries in.
How? Every entry will be assigned a number and random.org will select the winner(s).

Why? Because I want to be nice. Well, and get you all involved and meeting others close(r) to you. This is not sponsored by anyone other than Going It Alone.

Just Because

Have you ever received an unexpected letter in the mail? Not email. Regular old fashioned mail.

Did it make you smile and feel warm inside?

It does me.

I am the WORST when it comes to sending mail and 'thank you' cards. Or birthday, anniversary, Easter, Christmas, etc. But I do try to remember.

I challenge you to look in your addresses wherever they may be and pick someone to send a card or letter to. It doesn't have to say much. Just a 'thinking about you' would be fine. (This doesn't include your spouse whom I hope you are already writing to.)

If you are worried about your handwriting, try printing. If that is also bad use the computer but do sign the letter.

You might be surprised and get mail back! Even if you don't, knowing that you put a smile on someone's face is worth so much more.

Let me know how many you send. My goal is one per month to someone new. That doesn't seem like much but when you are as bad as I am about sending letters it is quite a challenge.

Imagine for a moment.....

I see things differently now that I'm an Army wife. I've never been one to like extreme temperatures. I like a nice 60-70 degree F. outside. Anything else I tend to complain about. But it's different now. I'm not saying I still don't complain, I just try to be careful about where I am and who the recipient of my complaint is.

So for just a moment play along. Think of the hottest day of the year. For me in Texas that's around 110-115F. Now go to your stored winter clothes and pull out your warmest outfit and put it on. Don't forget a hat. Find a backpack laying around and fill it with 50-80 pounds of whatever you can find. 10-five pound bags of sugar would be great. Put the backpack on now. Now find a fan and get the gunk from your vacuum cleaner, you know the sand and dust that's in there. Rig it up by the oven so the gunk is blowing in your face. Before you turn the fan on turn on the oven to it's lowest setting and after it preheats turn it off and open the door. Now turn the fan on and and stand there for as long as you can. Bet it's not long. It's not quite realistic, perhaps it's not even close to what our soldiers endure everyday during the hot summer months in the middle east.

When my husband first reenlisted and was in Ft. Sill for a short while I went down to visit him. I don't think I EVER shut up about how hot it was and how miserable I felt. I did not realize how selfish and inconsiderate I was being. Or how very tolerant was my husband was being with me. On one particularly hot day we were walking out of a shoppette and I complained how hot it was. My husband in his gentle way stopped me and pointed out a truck. I'm not sure of what type but it has a canvas cover and rail seats in the back for transporting soldiers. The back of the truck was packed with soldiers, sitting, standing and squatting and more getting in.

Now I'm a little dense at times, especially when I am miserable. He asked me to notice what they were wearing. They were dressed in full battle gear. (The average Army trooper’s gear now approaches 125 pounds. Reference ) Then it occurred to me how completely, totally and miserably HOT they had to be. And not a single one was complaining or fanning themselves. They just dealt with it.

Yes, I was a newbie. Yes, my eyes opened a great deal that day.

I had to go somewhere the other day and it was 102F outside. I grabbed a bottle of water to take with me. I ran into the place for 30 minutes and when I came back out my water could have been used for a cup of tea. It immediately made me wonder about soldiers in the field or on missions and how often they must drink warm water.

They sacrifice so much for us. When you hear of sweat and blood they give, it is no lie. I don't think unless you have been there, a soldier, in their shoes you can fully comprehend. I know I can't. It makes my heart swell with pride for every one of them while at the same time breaking for all they go through.

So this summer when you think about how hot it is, stop for a moment and think of soldier that doesn't get to escape to an air conditioned room when they want or get a cool drink of water when they want. They have to tough it out. Army Strong. And unless you have a bottle of ice water to hand to a soldier in uniform, never tell them how hot it is. Better yet, don't say anything, just offer them the ice water.

Beginning of sandstorm. From my husband, Tikrit 2010.

Soldier in heat and sandstorm.  No credits found.

Pomp and Circumstance

Pomp and circumstance defined as an idiom is a formal ceremony. There are all kinds of events that have pomp and circumstance. Graduations are what most people first think of.



For a military spouse we think of 'Casing the colors' when our soldier deploys or the homecoming ceremony when they return. 


I love the ceremony and all the pomp and circumstance that goes along with it. I need it. I need to feel the reality of what's going on. That's what pomp and circumstance does. It makes it real. 


It does not make deployments easier nor homecomings faster. It just makes it real. I like to feel the energy from other people. The positive and the negative. I need to feel I'm not alone in what I'm feeling. 


How do you feel about it?

A Different Set of Eyes

The days leading up to the possible shutdown were wearing on me. I tried to reassure people that even IF it did happen it wouldn't be permanent. That it WOULD be okay in the end. Panic had started to spread and didn't take it long to consume many of the normally sane people I know. I couldn't find the words to help and stressed myself out trying.

My husband posted on facebook the day after the talks in response to all the arguing and panic that he had been hearing. Before you read it I want you to see what his sister said about the same message:

I call him "Turd Breath"...because he is my little brother...and good insults are the foundation of all sibling relationships....but I double-dog-dare anyone else to try to insult, or put him down! Every once in a while he just blows my mind with his eternal capacity to love - and to see the goodness through the darkness.

Enclosed is a message he published about the near-government shut down. I want to share with others the face and the voice of the soldier on the front line serving his country...the man who almost had his pay check withheld while the lawmakers would have continued getting theirs.

I think my brother would do his job for free if it meant completing his objective and seeing that no man was ever left behind. He is everything that is good and right with this country...

Just my 2 cents, although it may not be worth quite that much...

April 9, 2011 at 12:56pm ·

By Mikey Howard

I'm proud of my government. Just imagine - a group of career politicians deliberately walked into a mine field. They faced castigation and ridicule not only from their own country but from the entire world. They reached a near impasse despite the certain knowledge that their future in Washington was riding the ragged edge of disaster due to the repercussions, both real and anticipated, of a government shut-down. They did so because each side believed so strongly in what they were fighting for. There was no complacency here. This is passion. They weren't sipping cognac with their feet up as they discussed issues, they were screaming at each other across tables filled with coffee cups and take-out food in the wee hours of the night. I don't know what all happened in those halls but I do know that I will continue to serve my country in the certain knowledge that it is still the home of the brave and that principles still matter to so many of my countrymen. God bless my aggravating, cantankerous Congress. God bless you. And God bless America.

Helping others

I really believe in the old adage that it is better to give than to receive. I give because I selfishly love the feeling I get from doing something for someone. Even when they don't know it was me. In fact I prefer to remain anonymous whenever possible. Sometimes I can't. It is easier to drop off meals without giving a name than inviting 'strangers' into your home and still remain nameless.

We do this often too. Invite people in. Not just for a meal but to give them a place to stay instead of a motel in between PCSing or whatever reason they got stuck in one. Sometimes it works out very well. Sometimes the people pitch in and help. We don't charge them rent. We simply ask for help with buying groceries and that they do their share of housework. (Which by the way, NEVER involves the kitchen...that's my baby.)

Sometimes the people go above and beyond. I never expect that. But what I hate is that time after time of helping people we get the raw end of the deal. They offer no help for food or around the house. They expect me to be their maid as if they were still paying the $900-1200 a month they were staying in some roach infested motel. I don't get it. I am becoming bitter. I am getting to a point where I no longer want to help people. I don't want to be that person.

I also don't feel that we are extending such a kindness that we are not asking too much from someone. How hard is it to pick up after yourself or grab a dust rag or take out the trash when it's full?

I want to scream 'either you help or go back to paying what you were at the motel.' Don't tell me you're broke on payday when you have NO bills. We are the ones paying for the house, the utilities AND the food. Oh wait, let's throw in chauffeur services too.

Do I need to have something written up to hand people that we are trying to give a hand up to? Should it be outlined? Isn't it common sense that if someone is letting you stay with them for free that you should help in some way so as not to make it hardship on them?

Sigh....

I wish everyone could be like the last family we helped. And they are the reason that I'm sure I will continue to help military families when they need a place to stay.

It makes me wonder if age has anything to do with it. They were older, like us. Seems all the younger ones we've helped have taken advantage of us and wore out their welcome very quickly. Surely that can't be it.

I should add it's not just people we let stay with us. People ask 'little' favors of us. We always help when we can. The last time we helped with a little favor it is costing us over $500 in damage to the house. It might be more, I'm still working on figuring it out.

With the holidays here I don't want to be bitter. I still want to be a giving, helping person. I just don't know how much more is in me.